(Written to mark the start of Season 2016/17)

what matters most is not the sleeping

in the days before the first game,

it’s the worry, the stress now creeping

into my mind, the question What’s in a name?

then the season walks up

like the orange Tango Man,

but painted blue, all freshened up

with a smug expression

slapping my forehead

with its planned impression

of the games to be, the poems to do

seeming to know everything

but knowing nothing, so you boys

the new boys -

I need to know, boys

I need to know

I’m in a daze, on the plays

stressing on the days

and months ahead -

all fixtured with dates

all circled in red:

here we go again, boys

here we go again -

you’re champin’ at the bit

gettin’ fit, you’ve beeped

and slumped, and ice bath steeped

and dumped the aches and pains,

now steady and ready, boys

now for the friendlies, boys

endless in the fierce and in the drag

of weights and sunshine fading

of pre-season nightmares

on the training grounds fading

it’s in the bag, boys

it’s in the bag

Me? I’m always ready

to wear the blue,

better for the break,

my luck’s been rested

I’m head the ba’ ready

trapped and chested ready

up for it, let’s do this -

it’s in the net, boys

dinnae fret boys

although I’m sure

of old places,

of memories still fresh

still pure, so pure

but not so much of new faces,

and new bonds, not so sure

trust and loyalty not yet sealed

of new names, not yet appealed

so what’s in a name?

we need to know, boys

we need to know

we cannae praise, confess

or give you stick, unless -

so we need to know, boys

we’ve CupTies, and Andos,

and Midgeys and Throws

we’ve Spoonys, and Muzzas

and Maccas and loads

of others

but what do we call you, the newbies

before you become our brothers?

are we to be a’ Samba cool

and run the rule

over Alsto, Coulso, Watso and Pato

or do we sing of Alsty, Coulsy, Wats and Paits

or daft wee nicknames of so so

defined by daft wee traits?

we need to know boys,

we need to know

I’ve been writing around in circles

and haven’t got the answers

more concerned you’ll leave it

to us, your adopted bunch o’ chancers

so what’s in a name, boys

what’s in a name?

everything, boys

everything’s in a name

and in the game

when we sing,

we praise, we jeer or cheer

and more the same -

we need to know, boys

we need to know

it cannae be hard

but if it helps, write to me

I’ll help you out

new names to nicknames

or trust me, boys

trust me, up will go the shout

it’ll be answers on a postcard

don’t risk that boys

we’ll not take your complaints

once they’re picked, they’ll stick

so help us out boys

C’mon the Saints!

that’s you now, boys

you’re one of us now

you know that boys?

you’re one of us now

you’re now of St Johnstone

you’re Apprentice Legends

so when the Season walks up

that’s what’s in the name, boys

that’s what’s in the name